stop talking you say? but i miss you! my dearest angul, Cry, i miss you.
i want to see you again, i want to talk to you, i wanna take walks with you
before lunch, like we used to. you just signed off... with a confused frown on my face
i know exactly what always happens with everything. the constant denial of everything
or the over-excitement of the smallest things fogs up my head. on purpose? yes
i hate reality, i may never live up to it's expectations, i will never accept it
it's so phoney, the whole world is generally fony! so staying in denial is my way 
of 'keepin it real'... i love you crystal! i always have, i need you!!!
- i'm being selfish again
i've dreamt it up, time and again, our walks, that now mean so much to me.
you're practically my mentor.  ... why am i holding back again? you are!
maybe u will find it, somewhere/something/someday/somehow, to understand me.
as for my intents, i have none. i just want to walk by your side...
feel like i'm a part of something. ask you what cd that is, 
maybe try to tease you some......ask you for money, if i don't even need it
sit near you, freak you out every-once in a while,
ask for that always awkward, spontaneous and non-deserving (on my part), hug
(i'm making up words again)
i loved it how we waited for each other after english
always nagging at the other... i was a part of something...
something that i'll never experience again, i thank you for that
i smile, remembering those first few weeks, at lunch, by the tree.
tallman made you kick me, almost every other day. 
smile turns into a big grin now. i sigh. and again.
will your steel-toes never strike my shins again? i laugh at myself.
why am i so strange? i feel all warm, fuzzy and cuddly inside again.
i'm just a kid now, young as ever. 
(as grammar skills leave lots of room for improvement)
well, friend, pastrami, pasta primavera, spaghetti, lasagna **the grin is back**
can i have a hug?

EOF crying.txt